What Is BDSM?

"Bondage & Discipline"

"Domination/submission"

"Sadism/masochism"

  1. Bondage - 2) A state of subjection to a force, power or influence. It comes from the Old English word bonda, which means husbandman (farmer)

  2. Dominant - 1) Exercising the most influence or control; governing. 2) Most prominent in position or prevalence; ascendant. Comes from Old French and Latin dominans, to dominate.

  3. Dominate - 1) To control, govern or rule by superior authority or power. Comes from Latin dominari, to rule > dominus, lord.

  4. Submissive - comes from Submit.

  5. Submit - 1) To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another. 2) To subject to a condition or process. 3) To yield to the opinion or authority of another; give in. 4) To allow oneself to be subjected; acquiesce. Comes from Middle English submitten > Latin submittere, to set under: sub=under + mittere=to cause to go.

  6. Sadism - 1) The perversion of deriving sexual satisfaction from the infliction of pain on others. 2) Delight in cruelty. 3) Extreme cruelty. Comes from Comte Donatien de Sade (1740-1814)

  7. Masochism - 1) An abnormal condition in which sexual excitement and satisfaction depend largely on being subjected to abuse or physical pain, whether by oneself or another. Comes from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Austrian novelist (1836-1895)

  8. Sadomasochism - 1) The perversion of taking pleasure, especially sexual gratification from simultaneous sadism and masochism.

 

It is not BD/SM.  It is not a technique.  It is not what you are.  It is not a particular form of "play."  

It is a term that describes three groups of people: 

  1. Those who primarily prefer B&D

  2. Those who primarily identify with D/s

  3. Those who mainly consider themselves sadists or masochists

One does not "do" BDSM.  One may be a member of the BDSM community, however - a general term that encompasses a lot of different practices and attitudes.  It is difficult to define precisely what each group actually does, since activities often overlap. A bondage enthusiast, for example, may include flagellation in their repertoire (an SM practice) or the masochist may enjoy strict discipline (a B&D practice). The terms, however, are not interchangeable. A submissive does not necessarily find erotic pain to their liking. They can only be described in general terms of primary interest. The sadist derives pleasure in inflicting erotic pain, the masochist from receiving it. Someone who identifies himself or herself as a member of the B&D group finds pleasure in restraint and discipline. These two categories center on distinctly identifiable acts. D&S, in contrast, is not so readily captured and can only be defined in terms of the dynamics of the relationship of those involved.